If a child is struggling to breathe, is floppy or will not wake, or their skin, lips or tongue look blue or grey: call 999 now. Colour changes are harder to see on brown and black skin, so check the palms, soles, lips and tongue. If you are worried but it is not an emergency, call NHS 111. In Northern Ireland use your GP out-of-hours service.

MarionSleep help for families

Staying safe when exhausted

Sofas, driving, hot drinks and the bath.

The short version

  • Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. It significantly increases their risk of SIDS. Put them down somewhere safer first.
  • Do not drive when you are tired, and rule out journeys between midnight and 6am, when natural alertness is at a minimum.
  • Never leave a baby alone in the bath, even for a moment. Drowning is silent, and bath seats are not safety devices.
  • This is not about careless parents: over 40 per cent of more than 3,400 new parents surveyed had fallen asleep on a sofa or armchair.
  • Put hot drinks down out of reach before you pick the baby up: a drink can still scald up to 15 minutes after making.

The rest of this page explains where this comes from. You do not have to read it tonight.

About 2 minutes to read

Staying safe when exhausted

The Health and Safety Executive makes the point that matters most: fatigue causes an "underestimation of risk". It degrades the judgement you would use to decide whether you are too tired, so decide these three rules now.

Never fall asleep holding a baby on a sofa or armchair

The Lullaby Trust: "Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby as it significantly increases their risk of SIDS." The NHS: "do not sleep on a sofa or in an armchair with your baby."

This is not a warning about careless parents: in a Lullaby Trust survey of over 3,400 new parents, over 40 per cent had fallen asleep on a sofa or armchair with their baby.

So plan for it. UNICEF UK: "If parents fall asleep with their baby they are much safer in a bed than on a sofa or chair." The Lullaby Trust says to prepare in advance: if you might fall asleep in bed with your baby, make sure there will not be pillows or adult bedding near them; if you might fall asleep on a sofa or armchair, put the baby down in a safer place to sleep first. More on our safer sleep page.

Do not drive if you are tired

Highway Code Rule 91: "Driving when you are tired greatly increases your risk of collision." It says "do not begin a journey if you are tired", and to "avoid undertaking long journeys between midnight and 6 am, when natural alertness is at a minimum". That window is exactly when an exhausted parent might drive a crying baby around, so rule it out in advance. It also recommends "a minimum break of at least 15 minutes after every two hours of driving", and says that if you feel sleepy you should stop in a safe place, not in an emergency area or on a hard shoulder.

The widely repeated "coffee plus a nap" advice is no longer in Rule 91, although many articles still credit the Highway Code with it. The HSE notes fatigue is implicated in 20 per cent of accidents on major roads.

Two everyday hazards that catch tired parents out

Hot drinks cause most scalds in under-fives, and a hot drink can still scald up to 15 minutes after it is made. Put it down out of reach before you pick the baby up, not after.

The bath. RoSPA: "Never leave a baby alone in the bath, even for a moment." Not for the door, not for a towel. "Drowning is silent. Babies do not splash, cry or make noise if they are in difficulty." Between 2019 and 2025 in England, 14 babies under one drowned in the bath, at least 9 of them using a bath seat. Bath seats are not safety devices.

Where this comes from

  • NHS, Best Start in Life: your mental health, the "1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men" figure and the line about exhaustion being completely normal.
  • NHS, postnatal depression, baby blues versus postnatal depression, and that fathers and partners can also have depression after having a baby.
  • Richter et al. 2019, SLEEP 42(4):zsz015, the 62-minute and 13-minute figures, the six-year recovery finding, and that dual versus single parenting showed no meaningful association with sleep recovery.
  • Astbury et al. 2025, maternal mood correlating with the mother's own sleep rather than with infant sleep.
  • Kracht et al. 2024, parents averaging under seven hours a night and only 40 per cent meeting the guideline at two months. Javaheripour 2019, the cognitive effects of sleep loss.
  • Paulson & Bazemore 2010, JAMA 303(19):1961-9, pooled paternal prevalence of 10.4 per cent and the correlation between parents. Schöch et al. 2024, how depression presents differently in men.
  • Darwin et al. 2017 (UK BaBY cohort), fathers not being asked about their own mental health, the "spare part" and "man up" quotations, and the recommendation to frame resources around fatherhood.
  • Howat, Masterson & Darwin 2023, Midwifery 120:103650, non-birthing and same-sex parents and the legitimacy of their distress. Maternal Mental Health Alliance, the research gap for trans and non-binary parents.
  • Lawrence et al. 2017, British Journal of General Practice 67(661), intrusive thoughts in very nearly half of parents of infants, and the line that experiencing them makes a parent no more likely to harm their infant intentionally.
  • Tommy's, perinatal OCD and intrusive thoughts, "your midwife or doctor will not judge you", and OCD affecting about 1 in 50 mothers in pregnancy. Maternal OCD, no reported case of a mother acting on obsessional intrusive thoughts.
  • NHS England, perinatal mental health, mental health checks for partners of those accessing specialist services, the 42 Maternal Mental Health Services, and support extended to 24 months.
  • The Lullaby Trust, never falling asleep on a sofa or armchair, the survey of over 3,400 parents, preparing in advance, staying-awake tips and what helpers can do. UNICEF UK Baby Friendly, "much safer in a bed than on a sofa or chair".
  • Highway Code Rule 91, driving when tired, the midnight to 6am window and the 15-minute break. The caffeine and nap advice is no longer in the rule.
  • HSE, fatigue, underestimation of risk, 20 per cent of accidents on major roads, and the legal duty resting on employers. gov.uk guidance on night working hours, for the 8-hour average limit, the free health assessment and suitable alternative work.
  • RoSPA, hot drinks scalding up to 15 minutes after they are made, never leaving a baby alone in the bath, drowning being silent, and bath seats not being safety devices.
  • ONS 2025 family statistics, 3.2 million lone-parent families and 15.4 per cent lone fathers; gov.uk analysis of emotional distress among lone parents. Gingerbread, confirming the helpline closed on 1 April 2025. Home-Start UK (charity 1108837, SC039172), volunteers, weekly visits and self-referral.
  • Samaritans, 116 123, free from any phone including pay-as-you-go with no credit. Language on this page follows the Samaritans media guidelines. Cry-sis, 0800 448 0737, 9am to 10pm daily.
  • Andy's Man Club (1179647, SC051485), PANDAS Foundation (1149485, SC051814) and Action on Postpartum Psychosis (1139925), checked against the charity registers. NHS guidance on talking therapies self-referral and on urgent mental health help. NHS 24, 111 Wales, and nidirect, GP out-of-hours service.

Last checked 1 August 2026. This page is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your child, speak to your health visitor or GP.