If a child is struggling to breathe, is floppy or will not wake, or their skin, lips or tongue look blue or grey: call 999 now. Colour changes are harder to see on brown and black skin, so check the palms, soles, lips and tongue. If you are worried but it is not an emergency, call NHS 111. In Northern Ireland use your GP out-of-hours service.

MarionSleep help for families

Doing the nights on your own

Solo parenting, and shift or night work.

The short version

  • Decide the driving rule now: with nobody to take over, rule out the midnight to 6am drive in advance.
  • You are far from unusual. ONS counts 3.2 million lone-parent families in the UK, and 15.4 per cent of lone parents are fathers.
  • Protect one long block, not the total. If someone can take the baby for two hours, use it for sleep rather than the washing.
  • Set the night up in the evening: drink, snack, phone, nappies and a lamp within reach. Every trip downstairs at 3am costs you sleep.
  • For a baby under one who cries a lot, call Cry-sis on 0800 448 0737, free, 9am to 10pm daily.

The rest of this page explains where this comes from. You do not have to read it tonight.

About 3 minutes to read

Doing the nights on your own

Almost all official night-time advice assumes a second adult to hand over to, so it is worth naming the gap: no NHS page addresses how to get through repeated night wakings when there is nobody else in the house. The suggestions below are ours, based on the evidence about consolidated sleep. They are not NHS advice and we will not pretend otherwise.

You are far from unusual. ONS figures for 2025 count 3.2 million lone-parent families in the UK, and 15.4 per cent of lone parents are fathers. Gingerbread's figure of around 2 million single parents counts something different, families with dependent children, so the two are not interchangeable.

A night station set up beside the bed A bed with a small table beside it holding a covered drink, a snack and a phone on charge, and beyond it nappies, a spare sleepsuit and a low lamp, all within arm's reach so the parent need not leave the room. Everything within arm's reach, decided at 9pm and not at 3am Bed, clear of bedding near the baby Drink, snack, phone Nappies, spare clothes, lamp
Setting the night's supplies out before bed removes the decisions and the trips downstairs that wake you fully. It costs five minutes in the evening.

Practical help you can ask for

Home-Start has over 200 local branches and around 13,500 volunteers. A volunteer typically calls by weekly for a couple of hours, for as long as the family needs it or until the youngest turns five, and support is "free, confidential and non-judgemental". Around 17 per cent of families refer themselves. To be accurate: volunteers work alongside you, so do not count on it as childcare that lets you go to bed.

Gingerbread no longer runs a helpline; it closed on 1 April 2025, so any directory still listing a number is out of date. They do offer free online information, a forum and around 50 volunteer-led groups in England and Wales.

For a baby under one who cries a lot, call Cry-sis on 0800 448 0737, free, 9am to 10pm daily. The National Sleep Helpline does not take calls about babies under 12 months.

Shift work and night work

If you are working nights as well as doing nights at home, the law does not treat this as yours alone to absorb. The HSE is explicit: "The legal duty is on employers to manage risks from fatigue, irrespective of any individual's willingness to work extra hours." Under gov.uk guidance the night period is 11pm to 6am, and night workers have specific rights:

That last right is genuinely underused. If night shifts on top of a wakeful baby are affecting your health, a conversation with your GP or occupational health can lead somewhere concrete.

Where this comes from

  • NHS, Best Start in Life: your mental health, the "1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men" figure and the line about exhaustion being completely normal.
  • NHS, postnatal depression, baby blues versus postnatal depression, and that fathers and partners can also have depression after having a baby.
  • Richter et al. 2019, SLEEP 42(4):zsz015, the 62-minute and 13-minute figures, the six-year recovery finding, and that dual versus single parenting showed no meaningful association with sleep recovery.
  • Astbury et al. 2025, maternal mood correlating with the mother's own sleep rather than with infant sleep.
  • Kracht et al. 2024, parents averaging under seven hours a night and only 40 per cent meeting the guideline at two months. Javaheripour 2019, the cognitive effects of sleep loss.
  • Paulson & Bazemore 2010, JAMA 303(19):1961-9, pooled paternal prevalence of 10.4 per cent and the correlation between parents. Schöch et al. 2024, how depression presents differently in men.
  • Darwin et al. 2017 (UK BaBY cohort), fathers not being asked about their own mental health, the "spare part" and "man up" quotations, and the recommendation to frame resources around fatherhood.
  • Howat, Masterson & Darwin 2023, Midwifery 120:103650, non-birthing and same-sex parents and the legitimacy of their distress. Maternal Mental Health Alliance, the research gap for trans and non-binary parents.
  • Lawrence et al. 2017, British Journal of General Practice 67(661), intrusive thoughts in very nearly half of parents of infants, and the line that experiencing them makes a parent no more likely to harm their infant intentionally.
  • Tommy's, perinatal OCD and intrusive thoughts, "your midwife or doctor will not judge you", and OCD affecting about 1 in 50 mothers in pregnancy. Maternal OCD, no reported case of a mother acting on obsessional intrusive thoughts.
  • NHS England, perinatal mental health, mental health checks for partners of those accessing specialist services, the 42 Maternal Mental Health Services, and support extended to 24 months.
  • The Lullaby Trust, never falling asleep on a sofa or armchair, the survey of over 3,400 parents, preparing in advance, staying-awake tips and what helpers can do. UNICEF UK Baby Friendly, "much safer in a bed than on a sofa or chair".
  • Highway Code Rule 91, driving when tired, the midnight to 6am window and the 15-minute break. The caffeine and nap advice is no longer in the rule.
  • HSE, fatigue, underestimation of risk, 20 per cent of accidents on major roads, and the legal duty resting on employers. gov.uk guidance on night working hours, for the 8-hour average limit, the free health assessment and suitable alternative work.
  • RoSPA, hot drinks scalding up to 15 minutes after they are made, never leaving a baby alone in the bath, drowning being silent, and bath seats not being safety devices.
  • ONS 2025 family statistics, 3.2 million lone-parent families and 15.4 per cent lone fathers; gov.uk analysis of emotional distress among lone parents. Gingerbread, confirming the helpline closed on 1 April 2025. Home-Start UK (charity 1108837, SC039172), volunteers, weekly visits and self-referral.
  • Samaritans, 116 123, free from any phone including pay-as-you-go with no credit. Language on this page follows the Samaritans media guidelines. Cry-sis, 0800 448 0737, 9am to 10pm daily.
  • Andy's Man Club (1179647, SC051485), PANDAS Foundation (1149485, SC051814) and Action on Postpartum Psychosis (1139925), checked against the charity registers. NHS guidance on talking therapies self-referral and on urgent mental health help. NHS 24, 111 Wales, and nidirect, GP out-of-hours service.

Last checked 1 August 2026. This page is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your child, speak to your health visitor or GP.