If a child is struggling to breathe, is floppy or will not wake, or their skin, lips or tongue look blue or grey: call 999 now. Colour changes are harder to see on brown and black skin, so check the palms, soles, lips and tongue. If you are worried but it is not an emergency, call NHS 111. In Northern Ireland use your GP out-of-hours service.

MarionSleep help for families

Where to get help

Including the services you can refer yourself to.

The short version

  • Call 999 or go to A&E if someone's life is at risk, or you do not feel you can keep yourself or someone else safe.
  • Start with your health visitor, GP or midwife. None of them will think you are wasting their time.
  • You can refer yourself to NHS talking therapies without a GP, including for postnatal depression, anxiety, OCD and PTSD. Open to fathers and partners.
  • Otherwise call 111 and select the mental health option. There is no 111 service in Northern Ireland: use your GP out-of-hours number.
  • Samaritans, 116 123, 24 hours a day, free from any phone including a pay-as-you-go mobile with no credit.

The rest of this page explains where this comes from. You do not have to read it tonight.

About 3 minutes to read

Where to get help

Start with whoever is easiest to reach: your health visitor (an NHS service offered to every family with a child under five, at no charge), your GP or your midwife. None of them will think you are wasting their time.

You can refer yourself, without a GP

For many mental health problems you can refer yourself to NHS talking therapies without speaking to a GP first. The conditions available by self-referral explicitly include depression, including postnatal depression, anxiety, OCD and PTSD. It is for people aged 18 and over, or 16 and over in some areas, and it is open to fathers and partners on the same terms as anyone else.

There are also specialist perinatal mental health services and, where a parent needs inpatient care with their baby, Mother and Baby Units. In England these include 42 Maternal Mental Health Services covering difficulties such as birth trauma, support now runs to 24 months after birth, and partners of women in specialist community perinatal services are offered a mental health check.

Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland

If you need help now

NHS advice is to call 999 or go to A&E now if someone's life is at risk, or if you do not feel you can keep yourself or someone else safe. Otherwise get help from 111 online, or call 111 and select the mental health option. For a child under five, phone 111 rather than using the online triage.

Samaritans

Registered charity 219432 (England and Wales), SC040604

116 123

24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Welsh Language Line 0808 164 0123.

Free24/7

Free from any phone, including a pay-as-you-go mobile with no credit. You do not have to be in crisis to call.

Andy's Man Club

Registered charity 1179647 (England and Wales), SC051485

Groups meet every Monday from 7pm, except bank holidays.

Free

Free peer-support groups for men aged 18 and over: 350 or more groups plus online sessions, no bookings and no charge, so you can simply turn up. There is no helpline; for urgent help they point to Samaritans, 111 or 999.

PANDAS Foundation

Registered charity 1149485 (England and Wales), SC051814

WhatsApp 07903 508334

Their published hours differ between their own pages, so check their support page before relying on a time.

Free

Perinatal mental illness support with a dedicated section for dads: free WhatsApp support, a free bookable callback and weekly online drop-ins. They do not publish a phone helpline, so treat any PANDAS phone number you find elsewhere with caution.

Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)

Registered charity 1139925 (England and Wales)

No phone line. Moderated forum, one-to-one email peer support and café groups.

Free

Peer support from people who have been through postpartum psychosis themselves, including dedicated groups for dads and co-parents. APP say almost all mothers recover fully after an episode.

Where this comes from

  • NHS, Best Start in Life: your mental health, the "1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men" figure and the line about exhaustion being completely normal.
  • NHS, postnatal depression, baby blues versus postnatal depression, and that fathers and partners can also have depression after having a baby.
  • Richter et al. 2019, SLEEP 42(4):zsz015, the 62-minute and 13-minute figures, the six-year recovery finding, and that dual versus single parenting showed no meaningful association with sleep recovery.
  • Astbury et al. 2025, maternal mood correlating with the mother's own sleep rather than with infant sleep.
  • Kracht et al. 2024, parents averaging under seven hours a night and only 40 per cent meeting the guideline at two months. Javaheripour 2019, the cognitive effects of sleep loss.
  • Paulson & Bazemore 2010, JAMA 303(19):1961-9, pooled paternal prevalence of 10.4 per cent and the correlation between parents. Schöch et al. 2024, how depression presents differently in men.
  • Darwin et al. 2017 (UK BaBY cohort), fathers not being asked about their own mental health, the "spare part" and "man up" quotations, and the recommendation to frame resources around fatherhood.
  • Howat, Masterson & Darwin 2023, Midwifery 120:103650, non-birthing and same-sex parents and the legitimacy of their distress. Maternal Mental Health Alliance, the research gap for trans and non-binary parents.
  • Lawrence et al. 2017, British Journal of General Practice 67(661), intrusive thoughts in very nearly half of parents of infants, and the line that experiencing them makes a parent no more likely to harm their infant intentionally.
  • Tommy's, perinatal OCD and intrusive thoughts, "your midwife or doctor will not judge you", and OCD affecting about 1 in 50 mothers in pregnancy. Maternal OCD, no reported case of a mother acting on obsessional intrusive thoughts.
  • NHS England, perinatal mental health, mental health checks for partners of those accessing specialist services, the 42 Maternal Mental Health Services, and support extended to 24 months.
  • The Lullaby Trust, never falling asleep on a sofa or armchair, the survey of over 3,400 parents, preparing in advance, staying-awake tips and what helpers can do. UNICEF UK Baby Friendly, "much safer in a bed than on a sofa or chair".
  • Highway Code Rule 91, driving when tired, the midnight to 6am window and the 15-minute break. The caffeine and nap advice is no longer in the rule.
  • HSE, fatigue, underestimation of risk, 20 per cent of accidents on major roads, and the legal duty resting on employers. gov.uk guidance on night working hours, for the 8-hour average limit, the free health assessment and suitable alternative work.
  • RoSPA, hot drinks scalding up to 15 minutes after they are made, never leaving a baby alone in the bath, drowning being silent, and bath seats not being safety devices.
  • ONS 2025 family statistics, 3.2 million lone-parent families and 15.4 per cent lone fathers; gov.uk analysis of emotional distress among lone parents. Gingerbread, confirming the helpline closed on 1 April 2025. Home-Start UK (charity 1108837, SC039172), volunteers, weekly visits and self-referral.
  • Samaritans, 116 123, free from any phone including pay-as-you-go with no credit. Language on this page follows the Samaritans media guidelines. Cry-sis, 0800 448 0737, 9am to 10pm daily.
  • Andy's Man Club (1179647, SC051485), PANDAS Foundation (1149485, SC051814) and Action on Postpartum Psychosis (1139925), checked against the charity registers. NHS guidance on talking therapies self-referral and on urgent mental health help. NHS 24, 111 Wales, and nidirect, GP out-of-hours service.

Last checked 1 August 2026. This page is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your child, speak to your health visitor or GP.