The sleep diary
The tool that underpins all of it, and how long to give a change.
The short version
- Check anything physical first: snoring, pauses in breathing, pain or unusual movements at night need looking at before any settling method.
- It is completely fine to stop, or to not start yet. A house move, illness or new baby is a reason to wait.
- Keep a diary for two weeks, filling it in immediately rather than in the morning: sleep-deprived memory is not a reliable record.
- Record time went to bed and time got to sleep separately: the gap shows whether the difficulty is at the start of the night.
- Give any method about two weeks, and expect worse before better. The phrase to keep for 2am: this is normal, keep going.
The rest of this page explains where this comes from. You do not have to read it tonight.
About 4 minutes to read
The sleep diary, which underpins all of it
Almost every method above depends on knowing what is actually happening, and sleep-deprived memory is not a reliable record. Two weeks is the consistent UK answer: Cerebra, Scope and the Scottish SIGN 145 guideline all ask for two weeks before drawing conclusions, and Cerebra's Sleep Advice Service asks for two weeks of diaries with a referral.
Cerebra's columns: date; morning wake time; mood on waking; naps; the time you started preparing for bed; the time your child went to bed; the time they got to sleep; night waking times; what you did; how long it took them to fall back asleep; total hours of sleep.
Why "went to bed" and "got to sleep" are separate columns. They answer different questions. Bedtime at 7pm and sleep at 7:15 is not a settling difficulty, whatever the rest of the night looks like. Bedtime at 7pm and sleep at 9:30 puts the difficulty at the start of the night, which is what gradual retreat and bedtime fading address. And if your child spends far more time in bed than asleep, a later bedtime may help more than an earlier one. A single note saying "bad night" tells you none of that.
Why the "what did you do?" column exists. It records your response, so you can see patterns you cannot see from inside the night. This is not about blame: Cerebra is explicit that when parents' own sleep is affected it becomes more likely they will do whatever it takes to get their child back to sleep, which is a reasonable response to exhaustion.
Scope's tips make a diary survivable: fill it in immediately rather than in the morning, keep it by the bed, and ask school, nursery or respite care to fill in their part. Their reason is worth quoting: when we are sleep deprived, we can become forgetful and stressed, so do not always recognise what is happening.
Before you judge whether it worked
Two weeks, and worse before better
Give any method about two weeks. The Sleep Charity asks families to stick with a change for at least two weeks in order to see results, and says consistency is key. Three nights is usually too early to tell. If you can give it a fortnight you will know a great deal more, and if you cannot, that is information too.
Expect it to get worse first. Extinction-based approaches often produce a few nights of increased protest before things settle, which the clinical literature treats as expected; bedtime fading is thought to produce less of it. Cerebra's phrasing is the one to keep in your head at 2am: "This is normal, keep going."
And it is completely fine to stop, or to not start yet. Cerebra again: if this is a busy period for your family, it may be worth postponing the intervention for a short time so you have the maximum emotional and physical resources. A bad fortnight, an illness, a house move, a new job, a new baby: those are reasons to wait, not reasons to push through. The methods will still be here.
If sleep is affecting your child's health, your own health or your family's ability to function, you do not have to work through this alone. Your health visitor, GP or school nursing team can refer on, and the support directory lists UK helplines and charities that take calls from parents. If something physical is worrying you, snoring, pauses in breathing, pain or unusual movements at night, read when to get help first, before trying any settling method.
Where this comes from
- NHS, Helping your baby to sleep, the bedtime routine sequence and the note on excitement before bed.
- The Sleep Charity, Bedtime routines, the timed routine, "consistency is key" and the two-week rule.
- NHS Lothian, Graduated withdrawal (PDF), the six stages, the pacing and the "boring parent" instruction.
- East London NHS Foundation Trust, Sleep Basics (PDF), the camping out protocol including "start where you are", and the warning about abandoning a technique halfway.
- Cerebra, Sleep: A Guide for Parents (PDF, version 4, October 2025), "choose whatever works for you", the controlled crying and bedtime fading protocols, the contraindications, the autism routine change, the sleep diary columns and "this is normal, keep going".
- Newcastle Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, sleep information for parents of babies aged 0 to 12 months: responsive settling, and falling asleep during a feed or while held.
- Mindell et al. 2009, Sleep 32(5):599-606, the randomised trial of bedtime routines in 405 mothers.
- Mindell and Williamson 2018, the dose-dependent pattern across 10,085 children.
- Mindell et al. 2006, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine review: 52 studies, the 82 per cent average improvement, the classification of methods, and the comparisons finding no difference in long-term efficacy.
- Hiscock and Wake 2002, BMJ, and Hiscock et al. 2007: the controlled comforting and camping out trials, and the loss of significance at four months.
- Meta-analysis of behavioural sleep interventions, Scientific Reports 2022, 10 randomised trials, including the outcomes that were not significant.
- Price et al. 2012, Pediatrics 130(4):643-651, the five-year follow-up of 326 children finding no marked long-lasting effects, positive or negative.
- Gradisar et al. 2016, Pediatrics 137(6), 43 infants, cortisol and attachment at 12 months.
- Douglas and Hill 2013, systematic review, the case against intervention under six months.
- BASIS, Sleep training, the critique of the evidence base and the Middlemiss cortisol finding.
- UNICEF UK Baby Friendly, their stated position that controlled crying is not recommended.
- Trial report, 26 of 91 families discontinuing or not completing.
- Pinilla and Birch 1993, Pediatrics, the 26-parent focal feed study.
- Scope, Keeping a sleep diary, the practical tips and why memory is unreliable when you are sleep deprived.
- Sleep Action, Scotland, gentle strategies without cry-it-out methods.
Last checked 1 August 2026. This page is general information, not medical advice. If you are worried about your child, speak to your health visitor or GP.